Oh my god, so why is this so difficult for me?
So, I went to get my hair cut last week, and the woman cutting my hair was really pretty, really nice (I know that may just be part of her job) easy to talk to, and she came off as really really flirty. She also has a 5 year old son, so if she’s single, then that’s even better.
Anyway, I was thinking about her a little bit after I left, but the next night at work, I thought about her quite a bit more, and though maybe I should ask her out. So the next morning, I went back to see her and ask her out. She wasn’t working that day, and then I started to over-think the whole thing: What could somebody like me possibly have to offer anyone else? I’m a single-father with a good job, my own car, computer, etc. But socially, what could I offer?
I go through phases of being sexual (gray-asexual), sometimes I don’t even like to be touched at all. I’m very calm, rarely even raising my voice (aside from my generally loud speaking voice), to the point where I’m seen as uncaring. I don’t like to go out to parties, I don’t imbibe alcohol more than once or twice a year, IF at all.
My idea of a date is dinner, movie, and if we’ve been together for more than a few dates, sex. I’m a nerd, so I like to watch sci-fi, horror, action, thriller and some drama kinda movies and TV shows. I play video games sometimes, but I’ve been bored of all of them lately. Conversation with me is usually about entertainment, I like to criticize and talk shit about things (because of the SPD, I naturally hate “social norms”) moving between subjects such as politics, religion, science and philosophy.
I do want to get into camping and hiking as hobbies, like I did when I was a kid.
I honestly see no way in which my presence could be of any interest to anyone. Maybe I’m self-defeating or have low self-esteem? I don’t know.
Also, being a new person in another person’s life, doesn’t it seem like their current life and past have priority? It makes me feel like I’d be interfering in their life. So, wtf to do about it? Spend the rest of my life alone?